Things for Saturday: Part III
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Houston. We Have A Problem-
It is impossible to pick this game. It baffles me how people say a score,
like 35-21 Patriots. It is a matter of pure luck that those numbers come
up, like Megaball. But everyone seems to do it every week? Even this week,
when even the biggest of fools knows damn well that Santa ain't comin' to
town this week.
see," Brady said. My brain just doesn't work that way. I can usually
say win or lose, but by how much and an exact score, it makes my brain
hurt. "I'm not talking about it," Brady said.
this week I am right. "I'm not talking about it," Brady said
again. If you think you can pick a score this week than you are full of
crap. It is impossible.
my pick. "Yeah?" Brady said. The team whose QB throws the most
accurately will win. In case you haven't noticed, Brady jammed his finger
in practice this week. "I was out there," Brady said.
say it is nothing, and some say his skin blasted open and blood squirted
out like jelly. "It was fun," Brady said.
should have been an easy pick for the Pats. But then Brady suddenly was
walking around like Santa Claus in red gloves. "It is a great
challenge," Brady said. "I think the team has worked hard to get
to this point. It will be a great game. We are playing against a really
good team that is good in all phases. We are going to have to play really
well." Now the Patriots have clamed up like they are fighting an
obstruction of justice.
don't even know if Brady was throwing in practice. "Brian was out
there," Amendola said. "Yeah."
Pats won't say if Brady was throwing, and seemed as scared an Bannon when
asked about Hoyer throwing in practice. "He threw it to me one
time," Amendola said. "One or two times I think." So who
was the QB in practice? How much has Brady been practicing? We don't even
know if Brady was able to throw one ball in practice. "I can't tell
you that," Amendola said. "It's a secret."
if you think you can pick this game, you are completely full of crap.
"We'll see," Brady said. Exactly! We will see how well Brady can
grip the ball. If he can't grip it properly, he can't throw it accurately.
mean, we all played basketball, and we all have jammed our fingers.
"I have worn them before," Brady said about the Santa gloves
that kept his thumb a secret.
we are left in the dark, about the most important aspect of this game:
will Brady be able to throw accurately? Or will his thumb screw up his
grip like he is wearing Santa's stolen mittens? "I'm not talking
about it! Okay?" Brady said.
that knowledge I am very weary about this game. "I have no
idea," Brady said. Exactly! I have no idea who is going to prevail in
this game. As for predicting the score? "They are all
different," Brady said. "It is football." Thanks.
That was as helpful as your wardrobe after you mugged Santa. "We'll
see," Brady said for the fifth time. I wonder what Mrs. Claus thinks
if you asked her where he got the gloves. "She already asked
that," Brady said. Well that was useless.
please don't read this section. It is completely useless. It is as useful
as saying the Pats are going to win 24-17. Oh crap, now I have field goals
in my imaginary score. Thank God Santa is real.
I Got A Bad Feeling- Things just keep going against the Pats this
week, leading up to the game, and the Jags winning seems to have started
it all. "We're kind of working our way through it here. We're not
where we're going to be on Wednesday. We have a lot of work to do,"
BB said. "We haven't seen them in quite a while, but obviously,
they're well coached. They have a lot of good players. We saw that from
training camp. They've been in two close games and they've made a lot of
critical plays in critical situations. They've made the plays they've had
to make, and that's what you have to do at this time of year." I
mean, they spent a week together in Training Camp.
problem is that the closest defenses to the Jags was the Seattle and
Atlanta defenses in the Super Bowl that nearly (and some say should have)
beaten the Pats. "There's some similarities," McDaniels said
when asked about the comparison. "There's some definite similarities
relative to some of the scheme, and the way they play. But by and large,
our focus is certainly going to be on this team this year against these
players. Those games in the past don't really have a whole lot in common
with our preparation this week, and we've got to do a good job of studying
up and getting to know these guys. Not only what they do but who's doing
it. So, excited to get started on that here today." They like even
fronts, and they attack upfield relentless, like… like… uh…
have speed like nothing we've seen since we played Atlanta, or maybe
Seattle. "They have really, really, really good players at all three
levels of the defense. They're very well coached. We had an opportunity to
practice against them in August, and that was apparent then, and it's
apparent now," McDaniels said. "That they're very well-coached,
rarely out of position, know what they're supposed to do in each one of
their calls. They get lined up and play fast and aggressive and have got
an incredibly disruptive front that's deep and talented.
got really fast linebackers that are very disruptive that can do
everything that you need linebackers to do: they run, they tackle, they
cover, they turn the ball over, they blitz well. And then you've got a
really, really good secondary that contests a lot of throws and makes it
very difficult to have a lot of success in the passing game. So, there's
nothing they don't do well. They're very talented, their scheme is
difficult and they're well-coached, so this is going to be a huge
challenge for us. We're excited to start our preparation today for them
with our players." Was he talking about the Atlanta or the Seattle
Super Bowl Defense?
next thing that worried me was the weather. After a freezing-ass few
months, it is suddenly suppose to be almost 50-degrees tomorrow afternoon.
The Pats biggest advantage in playing a Florida team at home in January is
the freezing-ass weather.
mean, I'll enjoy every minute of the nice weather today and tomorrow, when
I walk the damn dog. So he can go pee-pee-poopy without freezing his butt
off. But it ain't gonna help the Pats on Sunday. In fact, it is a boon for
the Jags. It just seemed conditions in this game kept favoring the Jags.
Brady's thumb exploded is a shower of gore, and cheerleaders vomited.
Wolves howled in the woods as they smelled his blood, and the chances of
the Pats beating the Jags got so much more difficult that it will make me
uncomfortable enough to not sleep comfortably tonight.
are going to need Amendola to beat their speedy Linebackers in the slot.
"He's as competitive as anybody else we have. He plays hard on every
single snap and will do anything for the team to help us win. So, I don't
know that I could give a greater compliment to a player than that,"
McDaniels said. "And he always plays big in the big games. So, he's a
guy that you trust, that you want in the game. That you can count on and
you know you're always going to get his best effort. Like a lot of our
guys, he can take himself to another level and try to do a little bit more
than maybe what's done in the past, and he does a great job of preparing
hard to be able to do that." Only, he had his best game of the season
last week, and players rarely have their best games two weeks in a row.
am still picking the Pats to win, 23 to whatever? But when things start
going the other way all week, it is very hard to change that momentum come
game time. I know it's Playoff time, and I usually turn into a nervous
Nelly. But the Brady thumb thing has got me spooked.
A Citizen! Not a Subject!
is as Fascist does. Beware American. President Jerkballs is pulling the
cowardly republican Senate closer and closer to the cliff.
I. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech,
or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to
petition the government for a redress of grievances:
1st Amendment to the Constitution is the greatest paragraph ever written
by mankind. It is the truest diagram of how to ensure a free Country of
citizens survives. But is is also a list of what to attack when you want
to be a fascist dictator. President Jerkballs is attacking every article
in the 1st Amendment. Beware suckers, or you will be subjugated:
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